Gossip Fence

Image compliments of: http://www.circlecinema.com

“What do you make of it?” asked Elsie

“I herd it was a wild party.  The bulls all got drunk.  They even had some heifer’s stripping for them!” cried Maybelle.

Bessie asked, “Maybelle, why are you crying?”

She replied,

“My bull Turbo is there.  That’s his bullseye sticking out of that hole in the wall, I’d recognize it anywhere!”

The girls consoled poor Maybelle.  Maybelle told what all she herd:

“The bulls herd the farmers were all out drinking green beer.  They decided to get together at Daisy’s barn with her bull, oh…whathisname?”

Elsie interjected, “I believe her husband’s name if Fierce.”

“Yes, yes, that sounds right” replied Maybelle and she continued, “Poor Daisy is about ready to drop a calf, his calf, for goodness sake.  That no good son-of-a-bull-paddy!  Well, as I was saying, poor Daisy is near  about ready to deliver, so she is in the calving barn.”

OH! How sweet”, said Elsie. “Is it a bull or a cow?  Are we going to throw her a calf shower?  Isn’t it her first?”

Maybelle glared at Elsie,

“What do I look like? Wiki?”  “Would you kindly chew your cud so I can finish telling this story?”  “Where was I before I was so rudely interupted–Don’t you dare answer that Elsie or I will tie you tail to your udders again!”  “Let’s see, yes….I remember, the bulls decides to play while the cow is away, bulls will never grow up.  They were over there gambling!  Isn’t that just awful?  Gambling our feed away!  Shameful!  Then they got into the farmers mash, drunker than Farmer Brown gets on his poker nights!  I tell you the truth, I do!  Remember how bad it was last time?  I have pictures, here take a look..sinful it is!”

Fierce

Turbo

Maybelle proudly pulled the pictures out for the girls to see.

Bessie wondered how she got these pictures?  Does she sneak around snapping pictures of all of us?  Bessie’s thoughts were interrupted when Maybelle began to tell about the pictures.

“That first picture there is Fierce, poor Daisy’s bull.  He doesn’t look so fierce to me!  See how swollen his bag is?,” she laughed.  “Daisy said he was in pain for 2 weeks!  The farmer couldn’t figure out what happened to him.  He kept rubbing save on his bag.  She said Fierce would cry like a baby.  He claimed that stuff burned!”

Maybelle was laughing so hard she was in tears.  Elsie said, “Well what about the udder picture? The one of your Turbo?  He sure looks funny!,” Elsie chuckled

Maybelle straightened herself up and was quick to make certain these ladies knew she meant business,

“Elsie, would you please let me finish my story?” shrieked Maybelle.

“My Turbo wasn’t near as bad off as Fierce!  He had too much to drink, yes.  As the picture revealed, he was drunk, but Fierce was down right disgustingly drunk!”

“So anyway, the bulls got into the mesh.  They got themselves drunk and decided to wonder inside the farmers house to party.  They wanted the air conditioning and all that soft furniture.  So, they start toward the farmer’s house and ran into some heifers who just “happened” to be out there.  They said if they could party with them, they would dance for the bulls and let it all hang loose!”  Maybelle began to cry again.

By this time the ambulance had arrived.  The girls decided they better go over so they could hear what was being said.  Maybelle, afraid she was missing something, ran!

by Renee Robinson