(giggles, hiccup!)

Nae's Nest —  June 25, 2012 — 5 Comments

“When He is here, I simply don’t  know what to do.  Its like I am consumed.  I can’t think of anything else.  I can’t breathe anything else.  I can’t do anything else.  I am with Him, but I am alone.”

“It is difficult to explain.  I am happier when He is gone.  I know, I know!  I know exactly what you are thinking:”

Why don’t you just get rid of Him?  Kick His ass out!  I wouldn’t put up with Him.  I’d tell Him how it is gonna be and if He doesn’t like it…well then Tough Shit!’

“Well, maybe you didn’t say that exactly… But you know what I mean.  And to answer you:”

“Don’t you think I’ve tried?  I’m not stupid!  I know He isn’t any good for me.  Fact is, I can’t even stand Him! ” (tears)

“Look, I’ve told Him to hit the road.  I’ve told Him ITS OVER!  What can I do?  Call the cops?  Little help they are.  The cops tell me I need a freaking Doctor!  Can you believe it?  Like it is all in my head!”

“Well guess what?…  I go to the Doctor.  You know what he says?”

“Nope….you’re wrong.”

“Ha!  Not that either!”

“You were gonna say the Doctor tells me to “call the cops”, right?”

“Told ya you are wrong!”  (giggles)

“The Doctor tells me I need a Doctor! It sounds funny when I put it that way, but I swear!  That’s exactly what he says!”

“I don’t need nor do I want that kind of Doctor.” (frown)

“Don’t you start on me about that too!  I just need to ramble and vent and laugh and forget.  I do not need someone telling me I am nuts on top of everything else…Ok?  Please?  I just need you to sit there, smile and nod.  That’s all.  YOU DO NOT EVEN HAVE TO SAY ANYTHING INTELLIGENT!”

“I am sorry to yell.” (tears)

“I don’t mean too.  You have always been there for me.  You are always so good and sweet.  I need you, really.  I am over-tired, over-medicated and over-emotional.    I don’t want you to feel sorry for me.  I don’t want to make you feel bad or hurt you.  I guess, I just selfishly want to use you as my verbal punching bag! ” (giggles, hiccup, giggles)

“I am so sorry I said that” (giggles)

“No, I’m not!” (giggles, tears, hiccup, giggles)

“I’ll be back.  I gotta pee!” (giggles)

“I am sorry about that.  But it does feel good to laugh.  I am just going through a rough patch, that’s all.  I’ll get through it.  You are fantastic.  Please! Don’t be upset with me.  I do not mean to hurt you.  I just blurted out all this gibberish to hang on to that last little bit of hope.  That’s all.  I know you care, I know you are always there for me and I know you love me.  That’s why I can talk to you like this, ya know?  I need that more than anything else.”

“I know you feel helpless and wish you could do more.  This is exactly what I need and I can’t thank you enough.  I’ll take care of Him.  Eventually, He will be gone.  That’s what I am shooting for anyway. Ha-ha!”

“Seriously though. Let’s just wait and see what happens.  I am not going to change my mind.  I want Him to leave and will continue to do everything I can.  I Promise!”

“He’s just like a…like a tumor!”

Renee Robinson

All characters appearing in my poetry or short stories, excluding my journal, are purely fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. “My Journey With Cancer”, is a true ongoing story about myself. Any stories about my childhood or family, though embellished, are based on true stories.

Nae's Nest

Posts

I find myself "Dancing With Cancer", problem is...I can't dance. I stumble, bumble, and get pulled along. To keep my sanity, (humor me), I write short stories, a journal, musings and poetry....just about anything goes.

5 responses to (giggles, hiccup!)

  1. 

    Don’t know what to say. I wanted to keep reading so the writing was on point. 😀

  2. 

    When you’re dancing with the one that “brung” ya,
    and he’s stepping all over your feet,
    it’s time for you to change partners,
    before, you start feeling the “beat”.

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